I remember what it was like when I finally accepted God's call on my life to enter into ordained ministry. I was walking around the Missouri State University in Springfield, MO around 2 AM. (That wasn't particularly interesting as that was a habit of mine for quite some time at that point in my life.) However, this walk took place after a night of an exceptional worship at our campus ministry. It was one of those experiences where God's presence was felt in a way that was both comforting and discomforting at the same time. I was excited for what God would do in my life, I was hopeful and filled with a renewed sense of trust and conviction that the most faithful step I could do at that point in my life was to become a pastor in God's church. That both gave me great encouragement and fear. Similar to waiting in line before riding a brand new roller coaster. It is exhilarating, and frightening.
I have a feeling that many of us have had such a moment if we take the time to reflect on our own life. Perhaps it was during a song we heard in worship or a sermon that wiggled it's way into our soul and sparked our imagination, maybe it was in an embrace from a friend at just the right moment, or taking a small piece of bread and juice and participating in holy communion just after a weekend in which you felt unworthy to receive God's grace.
These moments are Christ experiences. These moments remind us that we are created by a good God who has a plan and purpose for us. These are often called "Mountain Top" experiences that give us a metaphor of the elevation we feel in our spirit and soul. It is a moment entirely different than the norm.
In Mark 1, Peter is out fishing, which means he wasn't good enough to become a Rabbi, he was the B team to the religious leaders, but Jesus gave him a call, a belonging, an acceptance. He says to Peter, "Come and follow me and I will teach you to fish for people". That was it. No explanation, no more details, no sense of security either. That was the call and challenge to Peter. I can imagine Peter's excitement about this new call, this new vision for his life. This was a Christ experience for him. We know this because Peter dropped everything and followed him. He took that leap of faith and followed, even without knowing really where he was headed. He was getting ready to begin a path of life that would lead him to see amazing things, begin the christian movement that would soon become a global phenomenon, and forever chisel his name in the anals of history.
Later, however, his vision and vigor for this new ministry become more real. His hopes began to hit pavement. In Mark 8, after Jesus had fed the mobs of 5000 and 4000 miraculously, Jesus and his disciples are yet again in a position to feed people. Peter, once again doesn't get it and Jesus chastises him for it. Jesus says, "Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear?" You can almost see the heart of Peter get increasingly heavy and his eyes begin to tear up. The romantic and high idealistic hope he had the beginning came crashing down into the mundane actuality of the work. His dreams began to take on more concrete forms and he began to discover the difficult work that was involved to achieve all that God had for him.
I think we as Christians get so disheartened in our faith journey and in our churches because we love to celebrate the high ideals of Christ. We proclaim that we accept everyone and are excited to see what God is doing in our church, but when reality sets in, when the journey is taking longer than expected, or the road to the destination is not as fun as we had hoped, we began, like the ancient israelites, to return home. To reject and leave behind whatever great hopes we had before. When hope hits the pavement, instead of continuing on until we receive God's blessings, it is easy to get upset and go the other way. Or to leave the church altogether.
I just learned recently that an Impala (the animal and not the car) can jump 30 feet in length and 9 feet high. This amazing animal is limited however, by the fact that it won't jump unless you can see where it will land. So at the zoo in Dallas all that contains this gifted animal is a three foot wall. Since the animal can't see over the wall to where it would land, the impala is kept contained. If fear grabs hold of us and we want to return home, we are no better off than the impala. We are contained within the prison of fear of our own construction.
But here is why I love Peter. He didn't give up. He marched on continuing to follow Jesus even though he felt absolutely dumb and unworthy. He continued up the mountain of the Transfiguration, he was the only one to get out of the boat and walk with Jesus on the water, he was the one to defend Jesus when being arrested, and he was the one who swam to the shore to meet the resurrected Christ. If we can learn anything from Peter it is this: When hopes hit the pavement, keep on going. Don't return to the way things are, always be moving forward even if it hurts and leaves it's fair share of scares. Because no matter what may come, resurrection is the last and final victory.
If you are reading this and find yourself in a difficult situation, I pray that Peter's example will encourage and inspire you to keep on going. I pray that the kingdom of God is worth more to you than your fear of rejection or alienation. I pray that you embrace all that God has for you, and are willing to run the race, even when your hopes it pavement. May the peace of our resurrected Christ be with you, today, and forever more. Amen.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Joseph, Alanis Morisette, and Jack-O-Lanterns
The connection between the Old Testament character of Joseph and the 90's angry rocker Alanis Morisette may not be entirely clear at first. But stay with me, for their connection has more to do with us than what may be guessed.
You see, in 1995, Alanis created a widely popular album Jagged Little Pill. In the grunge era that was the 90's this album made sense. It was an era of teenage anger and a desire to be different, to not conform. Furthermore, Alanis was a woman. This angry chick rocker bolstered the imagination of teenage girls (and guys) all across America. Her feminine voice was able to turn heart felt resentment and pain into a melody that spoke well beyond the words and into the soul. Her topics of betrayal, adultery, and drugs, albeit dark, were ever present in teenagers since long before the 90's. Her generation of musicians simply brought them to the forefront and made them relevant. So in some ways her song You Oughta Know became the anthem for teenage (and adult) heartache. Likewise, Ironic became the melody of satire for the 90's, a time when the economy was booming, unemployment was going down, drugs and divorce were on the rise. She was was right, isn't it ironic.
During 1995 and 1996, her popularity ballooned. She was constantly on the road performing, going on talk shows, signing autographs, and still writing more music. What nobody until afterward was how unfulfilled she was. (Ironic should be playing in your head) She became a household name, her wealth was growing exponentially, but yet she felt dissatisfied. So in 1997, after she became wildly popular, she disappeared. Everyone was waiting to see what hit song she would wright next, what anthem would she create to speak to a generation. This caused a greta deal of fear in her, for she was held to such a high esteem that to not release a hit signified something less in her. Put another way, her self-worth and worth from others was directly related to how well she made music. So in her fear, bewilderment, and disillusionment, she went to India.
Her time in India was not unlike Malcolm X's trip to Mecca in 1964. Alanis was soul searching, and experiencing the world very much different than was she had been through in the last two years. Because of the stress she was under by her producer, manager, and even fans, she became very ill. She witnessed the class system that remains in India and the poverty that is prevalent in some parts. All of this bent the world she thought she knew into the reality that it really is. The outcome? The experimental song Thank-You.
Unlike her angry grunge music before, she wrote a song of thanks. The lyrics to this song are rich enough to deserve their own blog post, but even then it would cheapen the song that it is. You will have to listen to it for yourself. And I don't know if she "found" the Christian God or not, but I do believe she found real purpose, real worth and value in herself--she experienced a kind of resurrection.
You may remember Joseph in the Old testament. He was the most loved of his siblings, to the point that his father made him a coat of many colors, a fact for which the rest of his brothers hated him. Anyway, as the story goes on, they threw him in a pit, told their father he was killed, and sold him into slavery. While in Egyptian slavery, he was framed, thrown in jail, and literally at the lowest point in his life. If anyone had a reason to be discouraged, disillusioned, thankless, and desiring vengeance, it would be Joseph. But he didn't, he clung to God despite his position, and in the end experienced a kind of resurrection as well. He became the number 2 man in Egypt who organized a Co-Op in order to have enough food for the impending famine that was coming in the land. Guess who he got to save because he didn't give into resentment and anger? His own brothers. (The story is long but good, go read it in Genesis).
Both of these stories, one ancient and one modern, offer examples of what resurrection looks like. It is more than a term to describe eternal life after death, for far too many of us are dying while we yet live. Jesus came to offer life abundantly, not to wait until there is no more air in our lungs. Resurrection is a bit like a Jack-O-Lantern. In order to have the cool effect of shapes carved into Fall harvest produce, first you must clean it out. You must clean out the icky, gooey mess that would prevent the light from coming out of it. For you, maybe it is resentment, frustration with where your life has been, dissatisfied with your family or work, unhappy with your church or community, maybe you are simply jealous of others around you. The truth is, we all have junk inside us that prevent us from being who we really can be. Thank-You is my favorite Alanis song. Without her willingness to self-reflect on the stuff in her life and the stuff that built up while she was becoming so successful, that song may never have been written, and the world would be a less place for it. So, too unless you are able to let go of the crap that holds you back, the world is less because of it.
So as we approach this Lenten season, may it be for you a time of soul cleaning, of restoration, and of resurrection. The world needs more pumpkins who let their light shine brilliantly, because in some ways, the more you let your light shine, the more you give permission for others to do the same.
During 1995 and 1996, her popularity ballooned. She was constantly on the road performing, going on talk shows, signing autographs, and still writing more music. What nobody until afterward was how unfulfilled she was. (Ironic should be playing in your head) She became a household name, her wealth was growing exponentially, but yet she felt dissatisfied. So in 1997, after she became wildly popular, she disappeared. Everyone was waiting to see what hit song she would wright next, what anthem would she create to speak to a generation. This caused a greta deal of fear in her, for she was held to such a high esteem that to not release a hit signified something less in her. Put another way, her self-worth and worth from others was directly related to how well she made music. So in her fear, bewilderment, and disillusionment, she went to India.
Her time in India was not unlike Malcolm X's trip to Mecca in 1964. Alanis was soul searching, and experiencing the world very much different than was she had been through in the last two years. Because of the stress she was under by her producer, manager, and even fans, she became very ill. She witnessed the class system that remains in India and the poverty that is prevalent in some parts. All of this bent the world she thought she knew into the reality that it really is. The outcome? The experimental song Thank-You.
Unlike her angry grunge music before, she wrote a song of thanks. The lyrics to this song are rich enough to deserve their own blog post, but even then it would cheapen the song that it is. You will have to listen to it for yourself. And I don't know if she "found" the Christian God or not, but I do believe she found real purpose, real worth and value in herself--she experienced a kind of resurrection.
You may remember Joseph in the Old testament. He was the most loved of his siblings, to the point that his father made him a coat of many colors, a fact for which the rest of his brothers hated him. Anyway, as the story goes on, they threw him in a pit, told their father he was killed, and sold him into slavery. While in Egyptian slavery, he was framed, thrown in jail, and literally at the lowest point in his life. If anyone had a reason to be discouraged, disillusioned, thankless, and desiring vengeance, it would be Joseph. But he didn't, he clung to God despite his position, and in the end experienced a kind of resurrection as well. He became the number 2 man in Egypt who organized a Co-Op in order to have enough food for the impending famine that was coming in the land. Guess who he got to save because he didn't give into resentment and anger? His own brothers. (The story is long but good, go read it in Genesis).
Both of these stories, one ancient and one modern, offer examples of what resurrection looks like. It is more than a term to describe eternal life after death, for far too many of us are dying while we yet live. Jesus came to offer life abundantly, not to wait until there is no more air in our lungs. Resurrection is a bit like a Jack-O-Lantern. In order to have the cool effect of shapes carved into Fall harvest produce, first you must clean it out. You must clean out the icky, gooey mess that would prevent the light from coming out of it. For you, maybe it is resentment, frustration with where your life has been, dissatisfied with your family or work, unhappy with your church or community, maybe you are simply jealous of others around you. The truth is, we all have junk inside us that prevent us from being who we really can be. Thank-You is my favorite Alanis song. Without her willingness to self-reflect on the stuff in her life and the stuff that built up while she was becoming so successful, that song may never have been written, and the world would be a less place for it. So, too unless you are able to let go of the crap that holds you back, the world is less because of it.
So as we approach this Lenten season, may it be for you a time of soul cleaning, of restoration, and of resurrection. The world needs more pumpkins who let their light shine brilliantly, because in some ways, the more you let your light shine, the more you give permission for others to do the same.
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