For Orlando....and Columbine, San Bernardino, Sandy Hook, Jonesboro, Oklahoma City, Boston, and so many more...

When will enough be enough? I recently read Sue Kiebold's book "A Mother's Reckoning"a few months ago. Kiebold is the mom of one of the Columbine shooters. The fact that I only need to use the word "Columbine" to explain the significance of Kiebold's book tells you something about our culture. In fact, I can say Sandy Hook, Fort Hood, Jonesboro, or Planned Parenthood and horrific images will likely pop into your head. Moving beyond guns, what if I said Oklahoma City or Boston Marathon?

Kiebold's range of emotions on April 20th, 1999 and the years that followed are powerful. From sadness to rage to grief to embarrassment, etc. I can only imagine what she felt on Sunday June 12th, 2016, when she more than anyone else recognizes that the gunman was somebody's son, somebody's friend. As the parents of Sandy Hook's children can attest, the victims were also someone's children, partner, husband, friend, wife, co-worker, etc. These are lives, all of them, cut short for no good reason.

A truth that is hard to argue is that we live in a violent culture. Citizens of the United States own 42% of all civilian owned guns in the world! Yet, we are only representative of 4.4% of the world's population. Yes it is true that we are a great nation, blessed with an amazing democracy and constitution that has allowed us to flourish for over 200 years. Warding off tyranny and oppression, we have been a free people who are allowed to flourish and thrive within the world we create (At least most of us, there a millions for whom this is not true--but that is another story) The famous first two amendments (Free speech, right to "bear arms") have been hallmarks to that freedom (Interesting that they were amendments and not part of the first draft huh?!) Despite the arguments about whether that 2nd amendment was written for musket carrying days or for the modern assault rifles, the spirit remains the same, we as the American people are granted the privilege of some level of freedom when it comes to defending ourselves, even from ourselves.

The only way these freedoms are secured is by having parameters, certain laws that protect ourselves from ourselves. If we remove all stoplights, it won't be long before we no longer have the freedom to drive safely. Parameters restrict movement so that life can move forward. Try having a rose bush that you never trim; eventually the bottom will die out because of a lack of sunlight. Trimming has a necessary purpose, a parameter that shapes it into growth.

So, when will we decide to make a move forward on gun control? When will we decide that a person with known allegiance to terrorist organizations should not be allowed to buy a gun? I grew up in Southeast Missouri, a place where meth is the drug of choice for many. An ingredient of meth (so I hear) can be found in Sudafed. You are now limited in how much Sudafed you can buy. Therefore, as an 18 year old in 2003, a month before my High School graduation, I was not allowed to buy Sudafed for my cold, but I could buy a handgun and bring it to my graduation.

I am not against weapons necessarily (I am against war and unneeded violence though). Even Jesus tells his disciples to buy a sword in Luke 22:35-38:

In the Gospel of John, Jesus is seen making a whip in order to clear out the temple. Weapons have their place, only in our broken and sad world mind you, and their time. I dream and anticipate for the day in which as Isiah 2 says, "we beat our swords into plowshares." In other words, when weapons are no longer needed as peace reigns supreme, we use our weapons for altogether new purposes.

Back to the point, as Christians, I believe, our job is speak prophetically into a violent culture, to say with a loud voice that my right to carry a gun is not as important as keeping people safe. Sure some will say that citizens carrying a gun can provide safety for other citizens, but I must confess that I fear a populous with numerous hidden weapons more than a crazed maniac with a gun. Here is why: 

Almost all terrorists in our country have been domestic--born and raised in the US. Sandy Hook, Columbine, Timothy MvCey--all home grown. Sure terrorists can enter the country and plot violence. Sure people suffering from mental illness can do unthinkable acts for a variety of reasons. Sure people bent on violence will find a way despite whatever laws come into play. 

But this is undeniable, we live in one of the most violent countries in the world, when it comes to gun violence. To not act is in fact to allow the violence continue unchecked. To not act is to actually act, by allowing evil and suffering to grow without question. So it isn't about acting or not acting, but about what kind of action will we take. To seek to be responsible, to give up a portion of our rights so that flourishing can continue, or to do nothing and see where this all goes? 

For me, from my own small corner of the world, I can do three things:

1) Do a random act of Kindness. Be kind and don't let fear win. 

2) Write to my Senators advocating for those in authority over our country to take responsible action. To enact new legislation that in some way will help to avoid such violence in the future. (The best part is that we will hopefully never know if it works) You can find contact info for your senators here.

3) Voice your own thoughts. Social media has given voice to millions of people. I wonder how different the civil rights movement would have been had Facebook been around then? To be quiet is to give voice for the status quo. 

Together, I believe, we can and will make a difference. 

P.S. I did not bring in the LGBTQ issues that were clearly a part of Orlando's shooting. While discrimination toward LGBTQ persons is clearly a problem, the issue of violence is much larger than these issues.  In no way, do I intend to minimize the severity of the pain this community must feel as they were specifically targeted. As a Christian pastor, I welcome all people into the grace of God (as if I have the power to not welcome someone in to God's presence, but you know what I mean), and stand in solidarity with all people during this time of suffering and pain. 

Ever have those moments when God speaks to you at the right time? Those moments when you are reminded of what is most important? If you are like me, those moments are fairly uncommon. Sure I can think my way into understanding God's desire through interpreting scripture, using reason, tradition, and my own experience (Wesleyan Quadrilateral for us Methodists), but those moments that seem to just speak directly into our souls seem to come out of no where. Like Moses' burning bush, (exodus 3) sometimes God seems to appear from nowhere and change the course of our lives.

If we continue the story, however, Moses does something that I am not sure I would do, he simply walks up to this burning bush. He doesn't run in the other direction, he simply gets in front of it, takes off his sandals, and listens. He places himself in the best possible position to hear from God. I don't think you can manipulate God or force movements of the Holy Spirit, but I do believe, like Moses, that we each have the capacity, to place ourselves in position to be open to receive a word from God. 

I think of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She is the mother of Samuel, but before Samuel ever entered the scene, she was the barren wife of a man named Elkanah. She was so desperate to have a son, an heir to her beloved husband, and it pained her that she couldn't. Every year on the pilgrimage to Shiloh to worship the Lord, she would stop and spend some time in prayer. Year after year, while other wives would be thankful for their kids, Hannah would lament her barrenness. She would plead with God to provide a son. In the glimpse we have in 1 Samuel 1, she stops to pray with a bit more gusto, to the point where the priest Eli thought she was drunk (1 Samuel 1:14). 

Like Moses, however, she positioned herself to hear from God. In her case, it was in front of the empathetic priest Eli who would later comfort her by saying, "Go in peace, may the God of Israel grant your request." (1 Samuel 1:17). Sure enough, upon returning home, she would become pregnant with Samuel. She would later, after he was weaned, return him to Eli and allow him to be raised there as a lifelong servant of God. Samuel would anoint Saul as the first king of Israel and later the great king David.

Here is my point, what would it look like for you to position yourself to receive a word of God for you? How might you change your attitude from pessimism to optimism, anticipating God to move and to act in your life? How will you know if you see your burning bush, or a place to be still and to pray as Hannah did?

I will end with this story. Growing up there was a woman who we would call "Granny" even though she was not our grandma. When my parents went to work she would watch over me and my siblings, take care of us, and feed us. We loved her and she loved us. I remember quite vividly that in her garden in front of her home were these seemingly huge "elephant ear" plants. I didn't have any of those near my house and her garden was the only place I ever saw such awesome plants. Every time I would enter her house, those plants were there to greet me, to welcome me. They remind me of the warmth of her house (and the smell of her cinnamon rolls-another story for another day).

Earlier this year, a woman in my congregation (Maryann Williams) gifted me a bulb of this plant. So, I carefully planted it, put it in a place where it would receive a lot of light, watered it, and hoped. To be honest, it did nothing for a while. It just sat there staring at me, mocking me. Then I went to Annual Conference (an annual gathering of clergy and lay United Methodists) from the state of Missouri. When I came back, it greeted me with this:


That hearty green leaf brought a great deal of joy to me. It just popped up, unexpectedly. It may sound really corny and cheesy to you, but for me it was God's own way of saying to me, "All will be well". It was a reminder that you can fall in love with God, not to change the world. Reshaping the world is the by-product of falling in love with God, not the primary aim.
This was my burning bush. It re-ignited my passion for ministry, for the Kingdom of God. You cannot manipulate God, but you can be ready to receive God. So how are you positioning yourself? How are you seeking that burning bush or utilizing the space in your life for prayer and devotion? In what aspects of your life might you anticipate God to work?

Messy Church

As I am wrapping up a few things to take with me to Annual Conference, I am reminded how messy the church really is. I am reminded that tidiness and order, cause and effect, sharp guiding lines, are simply never really found in a true community. A desire for predictable movements and unified responses will always fall short when it comes to communities made up of human beings, particularly church people.

I heard a story recently of a man (Let's call him Bob) who was losing his partner due to aids. Many Sundays, there was one church person who would stay behind just to minister to Bob. Not in an invasive way, but in a kind appropriate way. Bob would tell me that was the reason he sticks around in the church because "I know how good it can be, even when it isn't".

No words are much truer. As caring and loving as the church can be, it can also be as equally destructive, divisive, self-interested, and apathetic. To be honest, the church has always been this way. In 1 Corinthians 11:17, Paul writes this critiquing them about how they facilitate their meals when they gather together, "Now I don't praise you as I give the following instructions because when you meet together, it does more harm than good." (This would be a painful thing for any church to hear). Here is the saddest part, as long as the church is made up of humans, who are just as self-centered as you and I are, this will be a reality.

The good news is that even while we are a disordered bunch, God can bring about holiness. This is done at times with our participation, often without it, and occasionally in spite of us. So as we move closer to Annual conference, knowing the resolutions about our camp sites before us and the passion in which the conversation will enlist, it is all too important for us to keep in mind what it means to be the church, even as messy, broken, and imperfect people as we are. We remain to be the church when we are focused on awakening souls to the life changing possibilities of a life oriented toward Jesus Christ. Anything less than this, we stop being the church. Anything outside of this primary objective, and we become less than what we were created to be.

Not long ago, I was invited to play a softball game with the Dunklin County Drug and Treatment Court. This was a community, who were in the process of becoming drug free. That was their purpose, their objective, and their aim. Everything they did was oriented toward this objective. They were a wonderful group of people who allowed me to play softball with them (My skills were subpar to say the least) even though I was not very good. They laughed , argued, got angry, and heartily disagreed, but at the end of the day they were unified around their one common objective. It was a day in which Jesus was clearly present, even though few were inviting him to be there.

As we gather for holy conferencing, I pray that we may be more like a drug court softball game than a corporate stockholders meeting. I pray that we may be grace-filled in the midst of our messy disagreements. I pray that we are intentionally inviting Jesus to be present and to guide rather than an after thought to repair collateral damage. I pray that we will be laser focused on our mission of "making new disciples for the transformation of the world." Sentimentality, fiscal responsibility, and historical moments will try to dethrone that mission and place themselves in the highest spot of importance, bu may it never be so. May we disagree in a spirit of love and generosity, knowing that on the other side, God will be in the works of making all things new. We are in a new day and a new place, I pray that it will be a Kingdom focused one.



Rev. 22:1-15, "Then the angel showed me the river of life-giving water, shining like crystal, flowing from the throne of God and the Lamb  through the middle of the city’s main street. On each side of the river is the tree of life, which produces twelve crops of fruit, bearing its fruit each month. The tree’s leaves are for the healing of the nations.  There will no longer be any curse. The throne of God and the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him.  They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.  Night will be no more. They won’t need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will shine on them, and they will rule forever and always.

3 things to consider before reflecting upon Ferguson

Before I begin let me preface by saying that I am a 29 year old white male. White privilege is a real thing and I have won the lottery of genetics. That is not to say that I am particularly good looking, athletic, or smart. In truth I am average on all of those things (except athleticism where I may fall just below average). What I mean by white privilege, then, is that I am not subject to racial profiling when traveling in an airport, I rarely feel as though I am beings judged before someone meets me or that I must prove myself in any aspect of life.

#1 Beware of your hidden paradigms 

I first became aware of this white privilege about 5 years ago in a class at Saint Paul School of Theology in Kansas City. There a fellow student named Tina who was a middle aged black female, formerly a KC police officer, once told me that growing up in her predominately black neighborhood that she thought anytime a while person, particularly male, walked into a gas station or store in her neighborhood, they had the mindset that they could own the store and determine what happened while they were there. In short, she assumed that all white people had the notion that they were in control, even if they were the minority within their immediate environment.

She was shocked, when I informed her that, I think, most white people do not have this assumption. She was in her mid-thirties when she learned this. So white privilege is not only about the easier path a white person might have towards a successful life, but about a subconscious understanding about particularly people based upon their race. A recent NPR article by Frederica Boswell describes this unconscious understanding here. I won't regurgitate everything she writes here, but suffice it to say it is easier to assign anamilistic imagery to blacks than it is to whites. If you don't think you do this, then you probably do. That is why so many tweets and statuses about the Ferguson Riots immediately became about "those people" or "them" acting like "apes" or "animals" or "thugs" (not technically an animal, but certainly sub-human).

So be aware of your own hidden paradigms. For it is these hidden paradigms that operate in the background of our thinking that is actually the most dangerous. At Timothy Keller rightly points out, we are all a little racist to some degree. We are naturally fearful of things and people with which we are not familiar. Therefore, those from different races, naturally bring a little bit of fear, and thus a slight slant of racism--we must own it and not hide it--for hidden paradigms operate all the time.

#2 Look below the surface 

When the Grand Jury Decision was made, the facts as presented to the grand jury were laid out. A deciding factor was certainly the inconsistencies in certain testimonies that would have led to an indictment against Officer Wilson. To date, the Grand Jury had the fullness of the evidence. I wasn't there, you probably weren't either. So it is beyond my scope to place any sort of judgment if the Grand Jury was right or wrong--I trust they made the best decision they could with what they had.

However, the anger, the riots, the protests, the media storm, and all else was not really about this one incident was it? It is a lot easier to del with if it were. Instead, this is the catalyst that has awaken a plethora of emotions and social issues that have been brewing in our country for a long time. The fact that more black persons get stopped by police officers than white person may not be an alarming fact if you are white. It won't keep you up at night unless it is your black son or daughter who is getting ready to drive on the road by themselves for the first time.

You may be saying, "Well more black teenagers get into more trouble than white teenagers." If this is true, I have no stats or evidence for this, but if it is true, then why is that? Is it possible that after the Emmancipation Proclomation in 1863 that we as a society did very little to enable a largely uneducated people (Thanks to the American exploitation of people in the form of slavery) to operate in our capitalistic culture successfully. Over time this shifted into Jim Crow Laws which really became "Slavery by Another Name" Over generations we still have an injustice in which blacks are subject to less paying jobs, become part of lesser schools, and still held up as the less valuable members of society in the general mind of the American people!

#3 Don't Group all People Together

This is perhaps the most important. Immediately following the first wave of riots after the Grand Jury announcement, I read many posts about how the rioters confirmed the stereotypes of black people in Ferguson. Because a couple hundred people broke into stores, looted, and set things on fire than all people in Ferguson who protest the decision are violent people? No this can't be true.

In 2011, Boston beat Vancouver in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Riots took place following the game where 140 people were injured including nine police officers. The crowd--almost entirely white people. Does this mean that every hockey loving fan is one goal away from losing it and committing arson? No surely not.

The world famous Westboro Baptist Church protesters do not represent the whole of Christians anymore than the Ferguson rioters represent every person who reocgnizes the racial injustices that plague our country. Do not assign the actions of the one to all.

Finally, as a white person, I can never know the full extent racial discrimination, because I have experienced white privilege. Therefore, I know rioting is wrong, I know looting stores is wrong, and I know pretending to know how another person feels is also wrong. This only leads to more pain and more hurt.

As we move on from the Ferguson riots, I pray that they never happen again, and I pray that more Americans became aware of such racial divide that is toxic to both our society as a whole, and to the kingdom of God in particular.

From Grief to Hope

Grief, anger, fear, resentment are powerful forces that when left alone, or compressed, will only grow stronger. They can fester and cause an incredible amount of toxicity. They beckon us to act quickly, find solutions, or do all we can to move quickly so that we no longer feel our pain. Sadly, these emotions often cause us to ignore our pain or the grief of others.

Andrew Sung Park wrote a helpful book called "From Hurt to Healing" discussing the theological process by which these raw emotions may be harnessed into something fruitful and productive. One of the most useful items I take from this book is a concept called Han, which can be described as the void left after a deep wound to one's soul. Long after a physical wound is healed, a spiritual or emotional scar can take significantly longer to heal. During the process, the weight upon one's soul is to what Han refers.

Han is both individual and collective and is always expressed in either positive or negative ways--never neutral. It may be months, years, or even decades later, but at some point the Han will find a way to be expressed in the physical world. You might consider the events of 9/11. A horrific tragedy in the life of America, that even today is hard to wrap our minds around. Yet, a memorial is made on the sight of ground zero which is really an expression of Han. A positive expression of the pain and grief we continue to share, that in some small way, allows us to focus our grief, pain, and sorrow, into a reminder that we remember the past, but cling to the future because of hope.

Please note that in no way am I saying the events of 9/11 and this camping situation are anywhere near the same level of grief and pain. Lives were lost in 9/11 and is thus infinitely more severe.   

As a pastor I want to offer a chance to express our collective Han in a positive way together. I know that the recent camping decision in our Missouri Annual Conference leaves many of us with a deep wound that perhaps has not found voice. I have read many blogs and comments arguing if the right decision was made or not. I have not found, however, a space where we can express our grief in away, that can provide hope collectively.

Some of you are more than ready to give voice to your pain and others are not yet. For some we may respond creatively, and for others we may respond with a simple prayer. It may be a poem, a song, a drawing, a play-dough sculpture, a picture of you in a camp shirt, of whatever form seems appropriate to you. Simply post your response in the comments and let us express our Han together so that we may be in solidarity with one another, regardless of if we support the decision or not. For we are United Methodists; so may we be united once more in this. May we support one another through our expression of Han so that we may continue to comfort one another. This is not an ending, of your pain, but merely an avenue by which it may find voice. I pray this forum allows you to feel heard and seen (at least by a community of support)

I will start:

Here is a picture of a cross given to me by a man here in Kennett. It was found in the basement of woman's house where it sat for nearly a decade. It is a cross made from Arizona cactus wood. The green outer skin fell away after the cactus died and the holes are where the spikes used to be. Someone along the line cut it to make it into the shape of the cross. I present it as a promise that in Christ all things are made new (2 Corinthians 5:17). It is my prayer that through it all, Jesus Christ may bring a new sense of hope and peace to each of us.
 






If you are not able to express your pain in any creative way, I leave you with this fantastic blessing from scripture in Romans 8:26, "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words." May the Spirit intercede even when words fail us.

Beginning from the end.

There once was a very religious man whose whole community was being flooded. He climbed to the roof of his house until God would step in to save him. Before too long, a small boat came by asking if he needed help getting to safety. The man replied, "No, I am waiting on God to help me." Soon after, another, bigger, boat came and asked the man if he needed help getting to safety. "No, God will come to my aid." the man replied. Finally, a helicopter came and offered to bring the man before the water overtook him. "No", the man said, "I trust that God, my deliverer, will rescue me." The man eventually drowned.

So the man found his way to heaven and asked God one question. "Why, did you not rescue me?" God replied, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"

Recently, the Missouri Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church made an incredibly difficult decision to overhaul our camping ministry. This ministry has been around for decades, is operated out of 4 (used to be 5) camp sites that are all gorgeous and captivating. Thousands of lives have been changed and touched through this ministry. Mine included.

In fact, I spent 10 years of my life as a camp counselor, I learned to swim at Camp Wilderness, and accepted my call into ordained ministry there. I used the grounds for personal retreats, Church leadership training, Confirmation retreats, and even went to a couple of good friend's wedding right by the lake. To this day it is holy ground for me.

So the decision to release all camp staff from their positions and to close down all camping ministry as we now know it seems harsh and drastic to say the least. The formal publication coming out of the office claims largely a financial reason. As the $48,000 deficit for the year is only expected to expand in upcoming years, the need to do something is obvious.

Through the firestorm of social media offering vehicle for emotional responses, I want to offer a "bird's eye-view".  Although the desire to start a fundraising campaign or to ask wealthy United Methodist to give sacrificially to save the camps sounds like a great idea--it could actually work and allow the camps to continue as we have been for another 5 or ten years.

I think this thinking is ultimately short sighted. What happened in 15 years, when those that gave so much to save the camps once are either less wealthy (thanks to our marketing campaigns to save the camps) or are no longer living? Are we simply going to have a capital campaign every quadrennium? Meanwhile camp costs will continue to stay at $350-$375 (a generous notion) per camper. As youth activities continue to eat up more time for kids, parents/guardians will have more and more  activities to pay for. Since church's have the option to use the voucher system and pay for kids camp, church's will be left with a bigger and bigger bill at the end of each summer. Now when that every four year capital campaign comes around, churches that already pay $6000-$7,000 will be asked to give that much as well to save the camps all over again.

Eventually this entire system will collapse unless something changes. One day, if we continue as we have been, there will not be any camps at all, which means no more kids going to camp (United Methodist at least).

So, I would argue, that the folks who made this decision, didn't do it out of a need to save money, nor are they saying that money is more important than lives being changed. Exactly the opposite is true. The decision is made so that an entire generation of kids, who are not even born yet, might have a United Methodist camp to attend in their childhood. It is a needed a bold move to save an entire system from collapsing in on itself.

What is more, think about the alternative. If you live in a community like mine in which  25% of all residents live in poverty and would not ever be able to afford camp (registration, travel, food, etc.) then our current system really shuts them out unless a church adds it to an already expensive bill (something for which First Kennett has done proudly for years!) Instead, what if church camp took place at a city park or camps owned by the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts of America.

So in a single summer, one kid could go to United Methodist camp hosted at Camp Latonka. She could have an amazing week and connect the lake with the presence of God. Later that summer, the lake is not just a place where she earned her swimming badge, but it was a place that forever reminded her of a God who baptized her in nourishing waters that enabled her to get the badge in the first place.

Instead of retreating to disconnected places from the world (still a spiritual discipline--as an introvert I take my isolated retreats seriously), we could demonstrate to kids that God is ever present in their own community. In their own familiar grounds. Instead of God being disconnected from all other facets of one's life, we can teach kids that God is Emmanuel--God with us.

Like the man in the beginning joke. God will rescue us and deliver us into fruitful and vibrant ministry again. That is one thing of which I have no doubt. Unlike the man, I am thankful we have bold and courageous leaders who take the God-given boat. Faith without action is useless. (James 2). To trust in God is not to wait passively for God to change your circumstances, but to make the first step toward a new path.

No matter if you agree with my thinking or logic, I would hope that for all those who represent the Missouri Annual Conference (staff of a church, members of all our churches, and especially clergy) do not respond with hatred and fear. Let us not be against one another, but let us turn in love. Even in the midst of all our pain, anger, and resentment (none of which should be ignored or put aside--merely handled properly) let us remember to walk together.

With Grace,

Trevor W. Dancer

When hopes hit the pavement

I remember what it was like when I finally accepted God's call on my life to enter into ordained ministry. I was walking around the Missouri State University in Springfield, MO around 2 AM. (That wasn't particularly interesting as that was a habit of mine for quite some time at that point in my life.) However, this walk took place after a night of an exceptional worship at our campus ministry. It was one of those experiences where God's presence was felt in a way that was both comforting and discomforting at the same time. I was excited for what God would do in my life, I was hopeful and filled with a renewed sense of trust and conviction that the most faithful step I could do at that point in my life was to become a pastor in God's church. That both gave me great encouragement and fear. Similar to waiting in line before riding a brand new roller coaster. It is exhilarating, and frightening.

I have a feeling that many of us have had such a moment if we take the time to reflect on our own life. Perhaps it was during a song we heard in worship or a sermon that wiggled it's way into our soul and sparked our imagination, maybe it was in an embrace from a friend at just the right moment, or taking a small piece of bread and juice and participating in holy communion just after a weekend in which you felt unworthy to receive God's grace.

These moments are Christ experiences. These moments remind us that we are created by a good God who has a plan and purpose for us. These are often called "Mountain Top" experiences that give us a metaphor of the elevation we feel in our spirit and soul. It is a moment entirely different than the norm.

In Mark 1, Peter is out fishing, which means he wasn't good enough to become a Rabbi, he was the B team to the religious leaders, but Jesus gave him a call, a belonging, an acceptance. He says to Peter, "Come and follow me and I will teach you to fish for people". That was it. No explanation, no more details, no sense of security either. That was the call and challenge to Peter. I can imagine Peter's excitement about this new call, this new vision for his life. This was a Christ experience for him. We know this because Peter dropped everything and followed him. He took that leap of faith and followed, even without knowing really where he was headed. He was getting ready to begin a path of life that would lead him to see amazing things, begin the christian movement that would soon become a global phenomenon, and forever chisel his name in the anals of history.

Later, however, his vision and vigor for this new ministry become more real. His hopes began to hit pavement. In Mark 8, after Jesus had fed the mobs of 5000 and 4000 miraculously, Jesus and his disciples are yet again in a position to feed people. Peter, once again doesn't get it and Jesus chastises him for it. Jesus says, "Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes and fail to see? Do you have ears, and fail to hear?" You can almost see the heart of Peter get increasingly heavy and his eyes begin to tear up. The romantic and high idealistic hope he had the beginning came crashing down into the mundane actuality of the work. His dreams began to take on more concrete forms and he began to discover the difficult work that was involved to achieve all that God had for him.

I think we as Christians get so disheartened in our faith journey and in our churches because we love to celebrate the high ideals of Christ. We proclaim that we accept everyone and are excited to see what God is doing in our church, but when reality sets in, when the journey is taking longer than expected, or the road to the destination is not as fun as we had hoped, we began, like the ancient israelites, to return home. To reject and leave behind whatever great hopes we had before. When hope hits the pavement, instead of continuing on until we receive God's blessings, it is easy to get upset and go the other way. Or to leave the church altogether.

I just learned recently that an Impala (the animal and not the car) can jump 30 feet in length and 9 feet high. This amazing animal is limited however, by the fact that it won't jump unless you can see where it will land. So at the zoo in Dallas all that contains this gifted animal is a three foot wall. Since the animal can't see over the wall to where it would land, the impala is kept contained. If fear grabs hold of us and we want to return home, we are no better off than the impala. We are contained within the prison of fear of our own construction.

But here is why I love Peter. He didn't give up. He marched on continuing to follow Jesus even though he felt absolutely dumb and unworthy. He continued up the mountain of the Transfiguration, he was the only one to get out of the boat and walk with Jesus on the water, he was the one to defend Jesus when being arrested, and he was the one who swam to the shore to meet the resurrected Christ. If we can learn anything from Peter it is this: When hopes hit the pavement, keep on going. Don't return to the way things are, always be moving forward even if it hurts and leaves it's fair share of scares. Because no matter what may come, resurrection is the last and final victory.

If you are reading this and find yourself in a difficult situation, I pray that Peter's example will encourage and inspire you to keep on going. I pray that the kingdom of God is worth more to you than your fear of rejection or alienation. I pray that you embrace all that God has for you, and are willing to run the race, even when your hopes it pavement. May the peace of our resurrected Christ be with you, today, and forever more. Amen.