Leaving Home

Recently, I made what could be the last, or at least one of the last, trips to my hometown. My parents have made the decision to move from the town in which I was born and raised to another city. While it makes sense for the context of their lives, it also means leaving behind a place my family has known for literally the entirety of my existence. While many of my friends moved from one house to another for a variety of reasons, I was one of the few that remained in the same house from birth to the time I graduated High School and moved away to college. It wasn't a perfect house (does such a thing exist?) but it was ours. It was the anchor on which our lives rested. It was the place where my siblings and I ran through the woods and buried our beloved pets. It was the place that I learned about the Milky Way Galaxy and how to play basketball. It was the place where my friends and I played every day throughout the summer and where I learned about grandpa passing away. It was the place where we opened up presents on Christmas and hunted eggs at Easter. It was the place my parents created for us to live and to be a family. Maybe it was the perfect house after all. 

We are not the only family who has had to say good-bye to a significant place in their lives. That is simply part of the human experience. It can be hard, and rewarding. It is complex as the entire spectrum of emotions come crashing together. Change is nothing less than loss, and loss is always grief. What follows is just my way of reflecting and dealing with such loss. I am excited for my parents to move into their new future, as scary as it may seem, but the loss is there and must be addressed. So, if you are going through such a loss, I hope this helps, even if just a bit. 

In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy taps her heels together and says three times, "There is no place like home." Suddenly she is transported, or more likely awakened, in her own bed in her own home. The long journey and her companions (the Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Lion) were all there with her as if they were never gone. She awakens with a new appreciation of her home and seeks to no longer take it for granted. Suddenly the imperfections are diminished and the blessings are highlighted. The journey helped change, not the homestead, but her heart and view of the farm. The land of Oz became the catalyst for a transformation of the heart. 

I think that a lot of people relate to this movie because we all come from somewhere. We are concrete beings, which is why positive and negative feelings may be encompassed in a physical space. Our brains store memories based on how we feel and where we were. This is why so many remember where they were when they heard about the events of 9/11, when they got engaged, or anything else of significance, both positive and negative. Physical space becomes a second or back-up storage space for our memories. So, the more around the physical space we are, the more alive the memories remain. 

All of that is why leaving physical space can be so devastating. I know of a woman who recently lost her husband and was forced to move to a new city to be near one of her kids. In a matter of two weeks she had to leave behind her home of 40 years, her church of 50 years, and her city of nearly 60 years, all while still grieving the death of her husband. So, in her nineties, she experienced tremendous loss because all of those memories were stored in all of the physical spaces she is no longer around. She might as well have moved to a new planet, everything was just as foreign. As so many people will recognize, if all you have left are your memories, those tend to fade without the reinforcement of the environment in which they are stored. In other words, without visiting the settings of your memories, it won't be long before you have trouble remembering what the setting truly looked like. This is why we make monuments and landmarks--to make explicit the connection between memory and the physical world. 

Throughout scripture, this is demonstrated time and again. Moses was given the 10 commandment on a mountain (Exodus 20) and hence the mountain became a sacred space for the Israelite people. When the temple was destroyed by the Babylonians in 587 BCE, though it took decades, the people dedicated themselves to rebuilding it (Ezra and Nehemiah). When Jesus was "transfigured" on the mountain, Peter wanted to build some dwellings (monuments) there to commemorate the event. In 1 Samuel 17, when God saved the Israelite army from certain defeat at the hand of the Philistines, Samuel set up a stone and named it Ebenezer as a reminder of God's actions. There is nothing wrong to want to hang onto place. The question, though, is how do we hold onto the place of our memories while moving forward in a healthy and genuine way?

1) Take something with you from the old place. Bring a rock,a leaf, a piece of art work, a photograph, or anything else to the new space with you. Let it have the burden of storing all of the memories it can. It won't be able to carry all of the memories of course, but it might hold more than you think. Before you bring it to the new space, hold it in your hands and recall as many memories as you can. These will be the memories you assign to the artifact. 

2) Don't take everything with you to the new space. The more the old space invades the new space, the lesser the new space will be. When we don't know what to  do, we do what we know. When that fear and anxiety of the new space emerge, and they will, you will want to abandon the new for the old. If you take everything with you, that fear and anxiety will only be stronger. 

3) Write a letter or make a video for the old space. This may sound corny, but write a good-bye letter or make a good-bye video. This is less about letting a house know how you feel and more about giving you the practice articulating your feelings and memories. I am always amazed at what is buried in the deep crevices of our mind. Trying to express them, exposes them to us. Try it, you'lll like it. 

4) Share the memories with others who experienced them with you. Nothing is more healing and calming than to know others share with you. Your family and friends are going to be the closest in understanding. They were there; they can help keep the memories alive for you. They can laugh, cry, and smile with you. If you do that in a new space, it is even better. 

5) Live in the new space. In the book of Jeremiah, there is an ancient letter written from the prophet Jeremiah to the people of Israel who have recently been taken out of their homeland to live in a foreign land. They are distraught and uncertain of their future. Jeremiah is writing to them to encourage them. He doesn't tell them to fight in order to revolt and return home. Instead he tells them to live their lives, to marry and to have children and not to fight, "But to seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare." (Jeremiah 29:7). So, live in the new space, carve out a future that will one day be as meaningful as the old. 

It is no wonder that the Land of Oz was so surreal. Flying monkeys, wicked witches, and trees that throw apples create a unique world. In some ways, the Land of Oz needed to be anything but normal to be transformative. If the uneasiness you feel makes you uncomfortable, it may be a good thing. You may be traversing your own Oz, complete with a feeling of other wordliness. Things may seem weird or foreign. I encourage you all to follow the yellow brick road for the journey is necessary. Take it one step at a time, companions will come alongside you, and in the process you will both have a renewed appreciation for where you come from and for where you are going. 

Patriotism, Religion, and Posture

Here are 5 thoughts I have regarding the NFL protest and President Trump's remarks calling for the firing of all NFL employees who do not stand for the National Anthem. Not everyone will like all of these thoughts (likely no one will like them all).

1) Since many of us are outraged that NFL players would kneel during the national anthem, and absolutely silent about football games happening on Sunday, the "Lord's Day", can we finally confess that we are not a Christian nation?

2) Patriotism is not defined by how observant you are during the singing of a national anthem, whether you attend a veteran's parade, or whether you vote. Patriotism is your belief that your country is a place where your children and grandchildren can be proud of. A place, you are willing to fight to make better AND to defend. Patriotism is actively making your country a better place for all people. Patriotism is not just standing and singing a song.

3) The bible calls us to pray for our leaders. Even when the exiles where in Babylonian captivity, Jeremiah calls them to seek the welfare of the city in which they reside, because their welfare depends on it (Jeremiah 29:7). This does not mean we submit without question to any "leader". We question, we think, we resist when necessary, but not at the expense of the union. We should and do have a responsibility to hold our leaders accountable, in peaceful protest if possible, and in action if required. Let's call hate speech and white-supremacy evil, for that is what is, but let's not pretend that a peaceful protest is evil!

4) We cannot have mandated patriotism and freedom of speech at the same time. I know the kneeling is truly offensive to many, I understand that and am sorry it offends you. However, if you are ok offending some by saying "Merry Christmas" then you must be prepared to receive offense as well. And if your defense is, "we are a christian nation" then read point #1 again. Freedom means that we have the ability to speak our minds, even if it means not joining in the national anthem or pledge of the allegiance. That is the beauty and wonder of freedom, we have freedom to live our lives as we see fit, within certain parameters. It is a gift, the same gift God gives us in Gen 1 and 2.

5) White, protestant, straight, people are not being persecuted! We, in America, do not know what that means. Persecution was practiced in the early church and some parts of the world today. It was not and is not being practiced here. What you might call persecution is a feeling of losing a foothold in leadership. At one point, the church controlled much of what took place in America. In truth, when the church controlled the government, it never ends well. Pick up a history book, any of them. When the church runs the state, everyone looses. We are called to make disciples of Jesus Christ, not patriots of the United States. The church is losing ground fast and has been for 60 years or more. The country does not care what the church thinks anymore. See point #1 again.  This is not persecution, it is a loss of influence and the church is at its best, when we really can't control the culture around us.

Father's Day 2017

Father's day is this coming Sunday. As you probably know, my wife and I just welcomed our 2nd child into the world on June 5th. He is named Tyler Joseph and has done his part on keeping us up every night and on our toes. Father's day, then, is even more significant to me because of this life changing event.

For the last few days I have been thinking about this holiday and what kind of meaning there might be held with in it. First, fatherhood is more than passing on your DNA to children, you can do this without actually being involved in their lives. Nor is it about being an adult figure for children in your sphere of influence--it is possible to do this without practicing the art of fatherhood.

Instead, I think fatherhood is more nuanced and challenging than that. Fatherhood is, I believe, about empowering the next generation to become all that God has made them to be. It is about empowering those who come after you to be all they can become in Christ. It is not about duplicating yourself in the world, that is too arrogant.

We empower the next generation by doing two things:

1) Pass on wisdom you have learned

In Acts 7, Stephen is walking through the heroes of the Hebrew Scriptures. He would have grown up with these stories and reflected upon them. Each ancestor he names listened to God when it seemed their path was unlikely. In doing so they discovered something new or were transformed by God. It was this precise bit of wisdom that Stephen was living into during this speech. That is why he called his audience "Stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ear". In other words, Stephen was aware of the wisdom he wished to pass on--namely that being nudged by the Spirit into things that make no sense and then trusting in God's faithfulness by moving into the unknown path can be the greatest act of faith. 

Sure, I have learned a fair number of "dad jokes" that I will try to instill into my kids. Sure, my love of soccer and games must surely be passed down, but above all else I wish to pass on the art of listening to God and reflecting on scripture. This skill, I think, will serve them far better than anything else I can teach them. This could change over time of course, but at least for now, I have a better sense of what I really do wish to pass on to them,

       

2) Live a life worthy of imitation

In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul writes, "be imitators of me as I am of Christ." This is not the same thing as duplicating yourself in the world. Instead, Paul is urging them to follow in his steps and in doing so become like Christ. He is not asking them to be little Paul's, but rather believes that he is carving a path that is worth marking. 

Like most dads, I can fall short here. By paying too much attention to my phone or not taking the time to sit and play with my kids, I tell them that adult life is too busy for them. If I am honest, that is the path I sometimes create for them. Living a life worthy of imitation is the harder of these two steps, but the far more important one. We are all being mimicked one way or another. The question to ponder is, what kind of path are you making for those who follow you? 

Why "Reflections?"

I have been asked why I call these e-mails "Reflections" and why my blog shares the same title. So, I thought I would share my answer. As you might predict, it begins with a bit of history. 

The ancient city of Corinth was positioned off the Mediterranean sea. It was the gateway into Greece and the West. Trade routes from Africa and Asia would traverse the sea and dock into Corinth where merchants would then acquire goods from all over the world in order to sell them in markets throughout the known world. 

Aside from tangible goods like salt and clothing there was also art, music, cultural rituals, politics, military tactics, etc. were also traded. Corinth, thus became one of the central hubs for the global exchange. Mirrors were also one of those items traded throughout the empire. As any culture discovers, when you have the free time to explore philosophy and art, you have time for vanity. So mirrors became particularly popular among the elite who had the financial resources to pay for elaborate clothing and make-up. If you spend a fortune on items that will make you look good, mirrors were one way of knowing for sure. 

Made from melted silver and dried on the flattened edges of crudely cut rocks, these ancient mirrors were certainly not as polished as they are today. The reflected image was cracked an impartial. It would only stay clear for a limited time until the silver got scrapped up.  The crude mirrors would travel the world and appear in nearly every culture and land in the known world. 

Paul picks this image up to his congregation in Corinth. In 1 Corinthians 13:12 he writes. "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known," In other words, even with deep conviction and trust in God, Paul recognizes that on this side of life, our vision and understanding is limited. 

Therefore, when it comes to interpreting scripture or wrestling with theology, I must recognize that I too am seeing the world and God through a murky mirror--limited, and less than perfect because I am limited and certainly imperfect. Reflection, therefore, is different from absolute conviction. There is room to confess that I could be wrong. Reflection is thoughtful consideration based upon as much information as one can acquire. 

In a divided world, and politically severed nation, it might be helpful to think of those ancient mirrors. We all see dimly into our future. No one can see perfectly, and if they do perhaps they aren't really looking at all. When our certainties drive us to hate rather to love, then we are more confident in our own insights than into the Holy Spirit. For Paul continues the very next verse by saying, "And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love." Despite our finite and limited vantage point, we are called to have faith, confirm our hope, and perfect one another in love. 

For Orlando....and Columbine, San Bernardino, Sandy Hook, Jonesboro, Oklahoma City, Boston, and so many more...

When will enough be enough? I recently read Sue Kiebold's book "A Mother's Reckoning"a few months ago. Kiebold is the mom of one of the Columbine shooters. The fact that I only need to use the word "Columbine" to explain the significance of Kiebold's book tells you something about our culture. In fact, I can say Sandy Hook, Fort Hood, Jonesboro, or Planned Parenthood and horrific images will likely pop into your head. Moving beyond guns, what if I said Oklahoma City or Boston Marathon?

Kiebold's range of emotions on April 20th, 1999 and the years that followed are powerful. From sadness to rage to grief to embarrassment, etc. I can only imagine what she felt on Sunday June 12th, 2016, when she more than anyone else recognizes that the gunman was somebody's son, somebody's friend. As the parents of Sandy Hook's children can attest, the victims were also someone's children, partner, husband, friend, wife, co-worker, etc. These are lives, all of them, cut short for no good reason.

A truth that is hard to argue is that we live in a violent culture. Citizens of the United States own 42% of all civilian owned guns in the world! Yet, we are only representative of 4.4% of the world's population. Yes it is true that we are a great nation, blessed with an amazing democracy and constitution that has allowed us to flourish for over 200 years. Warding off tyranny and oppression, we have been a free people who are allowed to flourish and thrive within the world we create (At least most of us, there a millions for whom this is not true--but that is another story) The famous first two amendments (Free speech, right to "bear arms") have been hallmarks to that freedom (Interesting that they were amendments and not part of the first draft huh?!) Despite the arguments about whether that 2nd amendment was written for musket carrying days or for the modern assault rifles, the spirit remains the same, we as the American people are granted the privilege of some level of freedom when it comes to defending ourselves, even from ourselves.

The only way these freedoms are secured is by having parameters, certain laws that protect ourselves from ourselves. If we remove all stoplights, it won't be long before we no longer have the freedom to drive safely. Parameters restrict movement so that life can move forward. Try having a rose bush that you never trim; eventually the bottom will die out because of a lack of sunlight. Trimming has a necessary purpose, a parameter that shapes it into growth.

So, when will we decide to make a move forward on gun control? When will we decide that a person with known allegiance to terrorist organizations should not be allowed to buy a gun? I grew up in Southeast Missouri, a place where meth is the drug of choice for many. An ingredient of meth (so I hear) can be found in Sudafed. You are now limited in how much Sudafed you can buy. Therefore, as an 18 year old in 2003, a month before my High School graduation, I was not allowed to buy Sudafed for my cold, but I could buy a handgun and bring it to my graduation.

I am not against weapons necessarily (I am against war and unneeded violence though). Even Jesus tells his disciples to buy a sword in Luke 22:35-38:

In the Gospel of John, Jesus is seen making a whip in order to clear out the temple. Weapons have their place, only in our broken and sad world mind you, and their time. I dream and anticipate for the day in which as Isiah 2 says, "we beat our swords into plowshares." In other words, when weapons are no longer needed as peace reigns supreme, we use our weapons for altogether new purposes.

Back to the point, as Christians, I believe, our job is speak prophetically into a violent culture, to say with a loud voice that my right to carry a gun is not as important as keeping people safe. Sure some will say that citizens carrying a gun can provide safety for other citizens, but I must confess that I fear a populous with numerous hidden weapons more than a crazed maniac with a gun. Here is why: 

Almost all terrorists in our country have been domestic--born and raised in the US. Sandy Hook, Columbine, Timothy MvCey--all home grown. Sure terrorists can enter the country and plot violence. Sure people suffering from mental illness can do unthinkable acts for a variety of reasons. Sure people bent on violence will find a way despite whatever laws come into play. 

But this is undeniable, we live in one of the most violent countries in the world, when it comes to gun violence. To not act is in fact to allow the violence continue unchecked. To not act is to actually act, by allowing evil and suffering to grow without question. So it isn't about acting or not acting, but about what kind of action will we take. To seek to be responsible, to give up a portion of our rights so that flourishing can continue, or to do nothing and see where this all goes? 

For me, from my own small corner of the world, I can do three things:

1) Do a random act of Kindness. Be kind and don't let fear win. 

2) Write to my Senators advocating for those in authority over our country to take responsible action. To enact new legislation that in some way will help to avoid such violence in the future. (The best part is that we will hopefully never know if it works) You can find contact info for your senators here.

3) Voice your own thoughts. Social media has given voice to millions of people. I wonder how different the civil rights movement would have been had Facebook been around then? To be quiet is to give voice for the status quo. 

Together, I believe, we can and will make a difference. 

P.S. I did not bring in the LGBTQ issues that were clearly a part of Orlando's shooting. While discrimination toward LGBTQ persons is clearly a problem, the issue of violence is much larger than these issues.  In no way, do I intend to minimize the severity of the pain this community must feel as they were specifically targeted. As a Christian pastor, I welcome all people into the grace of God (as if I have the power to not welcome someone in to God's presence, but you know what I mean), and stand in solidarity with all people during this time of suffering and pain. 

Ever have those moments when God speaks to you at the right time? Those moments when you are reminded of what is most important? If you are like me, those moments are fairly uncommon. Sure I can think my way into understanding God's desire through interpreting scripture, using reason, tradition, and my own experience (Wesleyan Quadrilateral for us Methodists), but those moments that seem to just speak directly into our souls seem to come out of no where. Like Moses' burning bush, (exodus 3) sometimes God seems to appear from nowhere and change the course of our lives.

If we continue the story, however, Moses does something that I am not sure I would do, he simply walks up to this burning bush. He doesn't run in the other direction, he simply gets in front of it, takes off his sandals, and listens. He places himself in the best possible position to hear from God. I don't think you can manipulate God or force movements of the Holy Spirit, but I do believe, like Moses, that we each have the capacity, to place ourselves in position to be open to receive a word from God. 

I think of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1. She is the mother of Samuel, but before Samuel ever entered the scene, she was the barren wife of a man named Elkanah. She was so desperate to have a son, an heir to her beloved husband, and it pained her that she couldn't. Every year on the pilgrimage to Shiloh to worship the Lord, she would stop and spend some time in prayer. Year after year, while other wives would be thankful for their kids, Hannah would lament her barrenness. She would plead with God to provide a son. In the glimpse we have in 1 Samuel 1, she stops to pray with a bit more gusto, to the point where the priest Eli thought she was drunk (1 Samuel 1:14). 

Like Moses, however, she positioned herself to hear from God. In her case, it was in front of the empathetic priest Eli who would later comfort her by saying, "Go in peace, may the God of Israel grant your request." (1 Samuel 1:17). Sure enough, upon returning home, she would become pregnant with Samuel. She would later, after he was weaned, return him to Eli and allow him to be raised there as a lifelong servant of God. Samuel would anoint Saul as the first king of Israel and later the great king David.

Here is my point, what would it look like for you to position yourself to receive a word of God for you? How might you change your attitude from pessimism to optimism, anticipating God to move and to act in your life? How will you know if you see your burning bush, or a place to be still and to pray as Hannah did?

I will end with this story. Growing up there was a woman who we would call "Granny" even though she was not our grandma. When my parents went to work she would watch over me and my siblings, take care of us, and feed us. We loved her and she loved us. I remember quite vividly that in her garden in front of her home were these seemingly huge "elephant ear" plants. I didn't have any of those near my house and her garden was the only place I ever saw such awesome plants. Every time I would enter her house, those plants were there to greet me, to welcome me. They remind me of the warmth of her house (and the smell of her cinnamon rolls-another story for another day).

Earlier this year, a woman in my congregation (Maryann Williams) gifted me a bulb of this plant. So, I carefully planted it, put it in a place where it would receive a lot of light, watered it, and hoped. To be honest, it did nothing for a while. It just sat there staring at me, mocking me. Then I went to Annual Conference (an annual gathering of clergy and lay United Methodists) from the state of Missouri. When I came back, it greeted me with this:


That hearty green leaf brought a great deal of joy to me. It just popped up, unexpectedly. It may sound really corny and cheesy to you, but for me it was God's own way of saying to me, "All will be well". It was a reminder that you can fall in love with God, not to change the world. Reshaping the world is the by-product of falling in love with God, not the primary aim.
This was my burning bush. It re-ignited my passion for ministry, for the Kingdom of God. You cannot manipulate God, but you can be ready to receive God. So how are you positioning yourself? How are you seeking that burning bush or utilizing the space in your life for prayer and devotion? In what aspects of your life might you anticipate God to work?

Messy Church

As I am wrapping up a few things to take with me to Annual Conference, I am reminded how messy the church really is. I am reminded that tidiness and order, cause and effect, sharp guiding lines, are simply never really found in a true community. A desire for predictable movements and unified responses will always fall short when it comes to communities made up of human beings, particularly church people.

I heard a story recently of a man (Let's call him Bob) who was losing his partner due to aids. Many Sundays, there was one church person who would stay behind just to minister to Bob. Not in an invasive way, but in a kind appropriate way. Bob would tell me that was the reason he sticks around in the church because "I know how good it can be, even when it isn't".

No words are much truer. As caring and loving as the church can be, it can also be as equally destructive, divisive, self-interested, and apathetic. To be honest, the church has always been this way. In 1 Corinthians 11:17, Paul writes this critiquing them about how they facilitate their meals when they gather together, "Now I don't praise you as I give the following instructions because when you meet together, it does more harm than good." (This would be a painful thing for any church to hear). Here is the saddest part, as long as the church is made up of humans, who are just as self-centered as you and I are, this will be a reality.

The good news is that even while we are a disordered bunch, God can bring about holiness. This is done at times with our participation, often without it, and occasionally in spite of us. So as we move closer to Annual conference, knowing the resolutions about our camp sites before us and the passion in which the conversation will enlist, it is all too important for us to keep in mind what it means to be the church, even as messy, broken, and imperfect people as we are. We remain to be the church when we are focused on awakening souls to the life changing possibilities of a life oriented toward Jesus Christ. Anything less than this, we stop being the church. Anything outside of this primary objective, and we become less than what we were created to be.

Not long ago, I was invited to play a softball game with the Dunklin County Drug and Treatment Court. This was a community, who were in the process of becoming drug free. That was their purpose, their objective, and their aim. Everything they did was oriented toward this objective. They were a wonderful group of people who allowed me to play softball with them (My skills were subpar to say the least) even though I was not very good. They laughed , argued, got angry, and heartily disagreed, but at the end of the day they were unified around their one common objective. It was a day in which Jesus was clearly present, even though few were inviting him to be there.

As we gather for holy conferencing, I pray that we may be more like a drug court softball game than a corporate stockholders meeting. I pray that we may be grace-filled in the midst of our messy disagreements. I pray that we are intentionally inviting Jesus to be present and to guide rather than an after thought to repair collateral damage. I pray that we will be laser focused on our mission of "making new disciples for the transformation of the world." Sentimentality, fiscal responsibility, and historical moments will try to dethrone that mission and place themselves in the highest spot of importance, bu may it never be so. May we disagree in a spirit of love and generosity, knowing that on the other side, God will be in the works of making all things new. We are in a new day and a new place, I pray that it will be a Kingdom focused one.



Rev. 22:1-15, "Then the angel showed me the river of life-giving water, shining like crystal, flowing from the throne of God and the Lamb  through the middle of the city’s main street. On each side of the river is the tree of life, which produces twelve crops of fruit, bearing its fruit each month. The tree’s leaves are for the healing of the nations.  There will no longer be any curse. The throne of God and the Lamb will be in it, and his servants will worship him.  They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.  Night will be no more. They won’t need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will shine on them, and they will rule forever and always.